My son Johnny came home the other day with a sticker that had the cub scouts logo on it. The sticker said sign ups for cub scouts was tonight at his school. Apparently The Boy Scouts came to his school and gave a presentation of what the cub scouts do. They told them they camp, shoot B-B guns and shoot bow and arrows. It sounded so cool I wanted to join, and did! I am now a den dad and will coordinate my sons pack. We went to our first meeting and they gave a presentation of what we would do and all the activities. Sure has changed since I was a kid and now they allow the other kids from within your family (even girls-ewwwwwww) to camp out and share in the fun. Circle-circle-dot-dot-now I have my cootie shot. I was going to ask the troop leader if when the other boys come over for a meeting will they know to take off their pants or am I supposed to ask them to do this but Christy reminded me some people do not like my brand of humor so I kept quiet. Johnny had no problem asking his question. His was, " will we stay up all night fighting all the bears, wolves and tigers with our bows and arrows and b-b guns all night when we sleep out in our tents or will we get to sleep? Good Question!! Troop leader Jim had no good answer for that one. I guess I'll have to read up in the tiger manual about that. My marine corps manual doesn't cover that scenario either. The pack leader asked me if I had been in cub scouts and I told him I had and went on to be a webelo. He asked why I quit and then I remembered it was because our pack leader had been endicted for embezzlment. He said , "Yeah, things like that will happen." Sort of made it sound like it happens all the time. Glad I did'nt make the joke about pedophile cub scout leaders.
I was talking to a person who is learning sign language and she showed me the sign for Jesus. You place your open palms toward each other and then with one hand extend your middle finger and touch the middle of the other palm and then with your other middle finger touch the middle of your other palm. I immediately protested that if that's the sign for Jesus than that's seriously screwed up!! (This is the part of my rant I like to call, "That's really screwed up, once I explain.") The touching of the palm w/ fingers is to signify the wounds Jesus received when he was nailed to the cross. O.K.- How about John Lennon's sign being 5 fingers pointed at the chest to signify the mortal wounds he received? Or maybe extended fingers under your chin to signify the shotgun blast that almost removed Kurt Cobain's head? You see what I'm getting at. That's really screwed up once I explain it.
It has rained for 11 days straight in Oklahoma. My daughter Paige and I were in Wal-mart and we heard it start again. While we were checking out Paige commented that it must be a new record. I told her it was not. She insisted it was and asked me if it wasn't then what was the record for rain days in a row? I told her it was 40 days and 40 nights. The checkout lady thought this was hilarious. It was so funny in fact she forgot to put one of our bags in our basket. They had those triangular bag holders that swivel around and you have to check 3 sides to check if you haven't left anything. The cashier is supposed to check also to ensure this does not happen. I can't tell you how many times I have stopped someone ahead of me who has left a bag that was before me in line. I got home and called to make sure they still had it at the register so I could go pick it up. After much ado the customer representative informed me a bag was left at one of the registers. She asked me what was in it? I told her a package of girls socks, women's razors and men's razors since that's all I could remember missing. The customer service rep wasn't sure that the bag was mine since it had other items in them but I could not remember what they were. She asked suspiciously if another one of the items could be glue sticks? I told her," yeah I got some of those also." She was still not convinced the bag was mine. I got fed up and in classic Goodyear fashion asked if anyone else had called up in the last 20 minutes asking about a bag they left at that register with girls socks, men/women razors and glue sticks? "No."I told her I was headed up there and if someone else shows up asking for these exact items then they can have my bag! I also informed her I would be there in 10 minutes and if my bag is not there, a bag just like it will be waiting on me. If it rains again I think I will take the day off and start buying some lumber.